Tennis Match

Men surround me, some are old boyfriends, most are actors from films I have seen. The actor from Donnie Darko and the actor from Into The Wild. My former fiancé, now friend is coming to visit. He's bringing a tennis match with him. I need sneakers to avoid slipping in the mud. My friend is with me. I want to introduce this friend to my former fiancé. I know they'll get along. They are similar in their ways of viewing the world. They both view their sadness as an opportunity for discovery.  We convene inside a mid-century house. My former fiancé snacks on popcorn while rushing around looking for his tennis gear. We leave the house by foot and trapse across the set of a film. All actors sit in a row at the base of a grassy hill that meets a road. We pass them by and they roll their eyes. We shouldn't be on set with muddied feet. The actor from Donnie Darko gets up. He's wearing a black suit. He leaps into the air and catches a hawk. 

On the same level

An earthquake shakes the theatre I'm in. Beckett is with me, Michael too. We are watching something about lions when the ground shakes and pillars crumble. The lights go out and everyone assesses what's happened. I'm worried about my friend across town. I'm supposed to meet him and I don't know how I can get to him. People bring in bags of food from the concessions and start eating loudly around me. An announcer says we should not drive, the roads are dangerous, there might be another earthquake coming. Everyone checks the news on their phone. Michael, who is now a blend of himself and my former boyfriend decides to go grab more food from his mom's house in Oregon city. There is a giant trunk filled with provisions for two weeks. I worry about him going alone, I don't want our family apart if another earthquake comes. Still he leaves. Beckett and I head downstairs to see some friends. They are all distraught and quiet. A homeless man eats what's been left in the fridge in a lazy boy chair. He's unfazed by the earthquake, thinks we are now all on the same level. He chews raw pork sausages from styrofoam. I wince. 

Hiding

Windows open inside a Victorian-era hotel in Fraser. I am with an ex-boyfriend from high school and some other people from my past, mostly boys who've been victims of the system. The hotel is a suite and feels like a house. People come in and out for a cocktail party I'm throwing. Miss Universe from the 90's is there with her baby. She's beautiful, but she's missing an arm and walks with a limp. Her baby looks exactly like her. The suite clears out, but I sense someone is still inside with me. I walk around picking things up, afraid that my ex-boyfriend may try to grab me from behind. He's older now, instead of punk rock t-shirts and a shaved head, he wears glasses and a cardigan. He's creepy. I have to go to work. I'm a news anchor alongside my boss. She does her segment and walks towards me through a dusty room filled with furniture covered in white sheets. She's visibly tired. Her usual red lips are bare. I'm afraid for her to sleep here. If she hides under the sheets they won't find her. The predators are everywhere. I feel them. We can't fall asleep without first hiding our bodies. I think of my ex-boyfriend's poorly constructed sentences from the prison letters he's sent me. I feel sorry for him, that he can't communicate the way he needs to. I want him to find me here in this pile of sheets and at the same time, I'm terrified he will find me here. The alarm goes off. Get up my boss says, it's your turn to be on the show.