Is it possible to get the chicken without the bone? Can I please get the dressing on the side? Do you make burgers without buns? Is this Diet Coke? It tastes weird. Is this decaf? I’m not feeling it. What’s in this sauce? Quince? Can I get some extra napkins? I spilled. I think someone may have vomited on this seat. Was it me? I think it was me? Can I get a hug? Please give me a hug. I may have had too much to drink. Ginger Ale would be good, Schwepps. Can you please light this candle? That kid over there needs to shut up. Can you tell that kid to shut up? I think you’d be a great model. Can you come to my studio so I can photograph you? Put on this little green dress. Bend over. That’s right. Open your mouth. I think we’ve found our girl. Stay there. Burger without fries please. Is there ketchup? This fork is dirty, can I get another? Is tip included? Do you what to hang out after you get off? Why don't you just admit you want to fuck my pussy hole? Pussy. Let’s smoke a joint in the walk in. Did someone fold my napkins? I’m pretty sure I don’t have change for a hundred dollar bill. Let me grab your check. Can I pay for this? Can you split the bill down the middle? I had the ice cream sundae. What’s in a sidecar? Tonight, in addition to what’s on the menu, we have slow braised lamb shank in a smoked tomato saffron broth, served with crispy polenta and garlic greens. I ordered these eggs scrambled. There is nothing that makes me feel more vulnerable than brunch. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Miss. Miss. Waiter. Can I get some water. I’m going to vomit all over the table. You should call me when you're done working. Come and check out my band later. I love you. I love you. I told you, I love you. I think we should see other people. I think we need to live alone. I’m breaking up with you on the phone because I can’t see your face anymore. I’m tired of you walking in your sleep, pissing in the houseplants. I love you. I love you. What do you mean you’re taking it easy? Taking it easy? Like Don Henley? Fuck that guy. You’re fucking that guy. Do you have any extra butter. Thanks. Thank you. Please. Can you do me a favor and pass me a mis en plate? Tonight we have seared monkfish with roasted root vegetables and citrus mache. Can I get the chicken without the bones? Do you mind taking the head off the fish? It’s pretty simple, you just cut in down the center and pull the meat away from the bones. I’ll take out the trash. Let’s have a shot. Can I get your number? You’re really pretty. You look like Winona Ryder. You look like a young Bettie Davis. You look like Drew Barrymore. You look like Kate Winslet. You look like an actress. I don’t know which one. Has anyone ever told you you look like Jennifer Lopez? You must need a master’s degree to work here, to memorize all that stuff. Yes, the soup contains peanuts. Yes, the tomatoes are local. No, there are no substitutions. We’ve been waiting a while. Get the fucking food out of the kitchen and onto the table! 86 snapper. The music is too loud. Is there something burning. I’d like the mac and cheese and Fries and a beer. All I’ve had to eat is and onion with ketchup all day. You ladies are all so hot. Can I see you later? I’m in this band. I’m a painter. I’m a poet. Here’s my book. Would you like a salad with that? Oh! You’ve got to try the sweetbreads. Is there any room at the bar? Can I get another? Neat. Two olives. Can you call me a cab? When are you going to be done tonight? I’ll wait for you? I’ll stop by when I’m done with my shift. We can wake up together. I’ll bring bagels. I’ll bring beer. Can I get the potatoes on the side? This shit is expensive. Happy New Year. Happy Valentine’s Day. Happy Anniversary. Thanks folks! Enjoy the rest of your night. I’m a student. I’m an artist. I make stuff. I’m exploring anthropomorphic creatures. I paint flying farms. I write plays about Native American lesbians. Lucy Lippard. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Can you please ask the chef to come and talk to us? We do have a reservation. We don’t have a reservation, but he’s famous, you know him right? I’ll have the pasta. Stoli with a twist. Do you guys have any bread? Do you mind getting me a new napkin? Can you wrap the rest of this up? It was so good. Really, I’m stuffed.
In My Room
A quick little Beach Boys cover for the ears:
A list of Smells - Part 1
My mother's breath (soft, metallic, bitter, garlic), My father's breath (cinnamon gum and marlboros, weed), My sister Mary's breath (sweet, sour, salty), My sister Leah's breath (sweet, a little smoky), My dog Bridgett (fishy, like the woods, like a river), Sunburnt skin, oily hair, dried saliva on chewed end of a marker, a dusty blue rug, my dirty underwear, rocks in my mouth, rain on concrete, my piano teacher's house (corn silk, stew, eucalyptus), number two pencils, plastic doll head, my mother's perfume (dark, musty, floral), bouncy ball, homemade marinara, firewood, neighbor Ginny's rose bushes, raspberries off the bush, grandma's cedar sauna, The scary lady neighbor's candy bowl, minty toothpaste, bubble gum ice cream from Dolly Madison, Grandma Millie's rubbery swim cap, Bumpa's polyester pants, pissed in snowpants, a dead cat in the school yard, my neighbor Michael's lips (sweaty, sour, pennies), my dad's garage (smoke, gas, wood), my mom's sewing room (plastic, warm cotton, her perfume), Grandpa Ben's guitar, Grandma Dot's couch pillows (dust, synthetic laundry detergent, garlic), roma tomato plants, minty dental floss, fresh pizza, Atlantic brine, cotton candy, Grandpa Ben's breath (red wine), Grandma Dot's breath (saltines and coffee), baby sister Mary's dirty diapers, Bridgette's poop, trapper keeper, Grandpa Ben's books, eraser, finger paint, pencil shavings, rubber cement, horse hair, saddle, heated grass, coconut sunscreen, Dad's Jojoba shampoo, Mom's leather heals, Leah's beer breath, my vagina inside pants, sour socks, inky paper, dad's records (musty paper, leather), Uncle Ron's pipe tobacco, Aunt Nan's armpits, a pearl necklace I inserted into my friend's vagina, my schoolmate's hair (Suave), the crisper drawer, christmas candle, cherry lollipops, french fries from Friendly's, ski ball machine, tokens, a rubber chicken, blood in my mouth, leather roller skates, Aunt Katy's American Spirits, Doritos, peanut butter and jelly on white bread, smoky lazy-boy, plastic remote control, gasoline stained concrete, stale cat pee, Eternity from Calvin Klein, Palmolive, Tide, sheets on a clothesline, freshly chopped grass, dollar bills, Grandpa Ben's hat (dander, tobacco), oaky drawer insides, Barbie feet, My friend's vagina, sweaty winter gloves, Christmas tree, wooden pew, pages of the Bible, Metallic water fountain, crayola crayons, my mom's spanikopita, cherry blossoms, hydrangeas, dandelions, dirt, cat shit in the sand box, orange popsicles, trampoline springs, Kraft Mac and Cheese, split pea soup, toast, vomit, ginger ale, freshly washed pillowcase, windex, paper towels, rubber bathmat, Avon bubble bath, Monkey fur, reptilian shit, notebook paper, book fair, Little House on the Prairie, gym shorts, apple computer, aspen leaves, dry soil, pinecones, sweethearts, deviled eggs, vanilla lotion, Bogota's polluted air, oxen, new denim overalls, the bathroom in an airplane, barf bag.
