Is it possible to get the chicken without the bone? Can I please get the dressing on the side? Do you make burgers without buns? Is this Diet Coke? It tastes weird. Is this decaf? I’m not feeling it. What’s in this sauce? Quince? Can I get some extra napkins? I spilled. I think someone may have vomited on this seat. Was it me? I think it was me? Can I get a hug? Please give me a hug. I may have had too much to drink. Ginger Ale would be good, Schwepps. Can you please light this candle? That kid over there needs to shut up. Can you tell that kid to shut up? I think you’d be a great model. Can you come to my studio so I can photograph you? Put on this little green dress. Bend over. That’s right. Open your mouth. I think we’ve found our girl. Stay there. Burger without fries please. Is there ketchup? This fork is dirty, can I get another? Is tip included? Do you what to hang out after you get off? Why don't you just admit you want to fuck my pussy hole? Pussy. Let’s smoke a joint in the walk in. Did someone fold my napkins? I’m pretty sure I don’t have change for a hundred dollar bill. Let me grab your check. Can I pay for this? Can you split the bill down the middle? I had the ice cream sundae. What’s in a sidecar? Tonight, in addition to what’s on the menu, we have slow braised lamb shank in a smoked tomato saffron broth, served with crispy polenta and garlic greens. I ordered these eggs scrambled. There is nothing that makes me feel more vulnerable than brunch. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Miss. Miss. Waiter. Can I get some water. I’m going to vomit all over the table. You should call me when you're done working. Come and check out my band later. I love you. I love you. I told you, I love you. I think we should see other people. I think we need to live alone. I’m breaking up with you on the phone because I can’t see your face anymore. I’m tired of you walking in your sleep, pissing in the houseplants. I love you. I love you. What do you mean you’re taking it easy? Taking it easy? Like Don Henley? Fuck that guy. You’re fucking that guy. Do you have any extra butter. Thanks. Thank you. Please. Can you do me a favor and pass me a mis en plate? Tonight we have seared monkfish with roasted root vegetables and citrus mache. Can I get the chicken without the bones? Do you mind taking the head off the fish? It’s pretty simple, you just cut in down the center and pull the meat away from the bones. I’ll take out the trash. Let’s have a shot. Can I get your number? You’re really pretty. You look like Winona Ryder. You look like a young Bettie Davis. You look like Drew Barrymore. You look like Kate Winslet. You look like an actress. I don’t know which one. Has anyone ever told you you look like Jennifer Lopez? You must need a master’s degree to work here, to memorize all that stuff. Yes, the soup contains peanuts. Yes, the tomatoes are local. No, there are no substitutions. We’ve been waiting a while. Get the fucking food out of the kitchen and onto the table! 86 snapper. The music is too loud. Is there something burning. I’d like the mac and cheese and Fries and a beer. All I’ve had to eat is and onion with ketchup all day. You ladies are all so hot. Can I see you later? I’m in this band. I’m a painter. I’m a poet. Here’s my book. Would you like a salad with that? Oh! You’ve got to try the sweetbreads. Is there any room at the bar? Can I get another? Neat. Two olives. Can you call me a cab? When are you going to be done tonight? I’ll wait for you? I’ll stop by when I’m done with my shift. We can wake up together. I’ll bring bagels. I’ll bring beer. Can I get the potatoes on the side? This shit is expensive. Happy New Year. Happy Valentine’s Day. Happy Anniversary. Thanks folks! Enjoy the rest of your night. I’m a student. I’m an artist. I make stuff. I’m exploring anthropomorphic creatures. I paint flying farms. I write plays about Native American lesbians. Lucy Lippard. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Can you please ask the chef to come and talk to us? We do have a reservation. We don’t have a reservation, but he’s famous, you know him right? I’ll have the pasta. Stoli with a twist. Do you guys have any bread? Do you mind getting me a new napkin? Can you wrap the rest of this up? It was so good. Really, I’m stuffed.
Lucky to have lists
I'm a privileged mammal. I have an incredible family, high-fiveable friends, clothes to wear, food to eat, a job I like, the ability to make stuff, I can read, I can write, I can cook, I have two cats that I can also feed. I can spend time dancing, doing yoga and pumping iron. I live in a house and have a garden filled with food I cook with. In fact, I'm so privileged that I'm able to sit here and type these very words onto the interweb.
If I were living as a woman in Yemen, on the streets of Portland, in Côte d’Ivoire, or in The Congo I wouldn't have the privledge of doing most of the things mentioned above. Nope. I'd more than likely be fighting each and every day to survive.
Things to do with this privilege:
Sponsor a woman on Women for Women International
Make things that say something, that teach something, that somehow bring mindfulness and peaceful action into the world.
Talk to the neighbors.
Eat and talk with strangers.
See what it's like to sleep on the street in unwashed clothes - without a blanket.
Collect "art and things" from friends who make "art and things" and donate the "art and things" to people who don't have access to "art and things."
Bring someone who has never been on a vacation on a vacation.
Give overworked people in the community a much-needed break by learning their skill and working a day for them - for free.
Teach myself and my 2.5 year old to be mindful and empathetic towards all living things.
Spend less, consume less, have less + give more.
Be one with nature and not one to exploit its many offerings.
Fall in Portland - Felicity Fenton - 2014