If I were

If I were a goose would you pluck me? If I were an egg roll would you dip me? If I were a team would you cheer for me? If I were tape would you affix me? If I were a log would you chop me? If I were an eyelash would you bat me? If I were paper would you crumple me? If I were a penny would you toss me? If I were a bathroom wall would you write on me? If I were a closet would you hide inside of me? If I were dirty undies would you sniff me? If I were a rainbow would you follow me? If I were mount sinai would you pee off of me? If I were a camel would you sit atop my hump? If I were Crystal Gayle's hair would you brush me? If I were a man named Leopold would you refer to me as Leo? If I were a lightbulb would you change me? If I were black coffee would you sweeten me? If I were invisible would you still see me? If I were a teat would you suckle me? If I were a hand would you high five me? If I were a sock would you lose me? If I were an eyebrow would you wax me? If I were a wave would you drown in me? If I were a shower head would you masturbate with me? If I were a doorbell would you ring me? If I were mold would you kill me? If I were a PBJ sandwich would you chew me? If I were a pearl would you pawn me? If I were a cigar would you light me? If I were a ball would you fetch me? If I were a roar would you run from me? If I were a mistake would you erase me?