I certainly have not been staying on top of this website. There are no excuses aside from the fact that I have been working diligently on a big writing project and work work. To make up for lost time, I am going to give you a recap of what I have done over the last few days: Wednesday, April 2nd - Read a book of African fables to seven Christian children, answered questions about why black people are black, rearranged the furniture in my living room seven times, color coordinated my closet, gave a few strangers high fives, embroidered a silk scarf for the Prince of India, and went to bed early.
Thursday, April 3rd - Stole a pony, rode to the Dalles, ate ice cream popsicles and tuna sandwiches, lip sang to Eddie Murphy, played a hand of poker, lost, won, stood on my hands, broke a vase in an antique store, pulled a man's rogue mustache from his upper lip, and went to bed early.
Friday, April 4th - Stretched my toes far apart with toe stretching devices, unclogged the bathtub, used the hair ball that clogged the bathtub to clean the pigeon cage, flung pancakes to the ceiling then watched them fall, and went to bed early.
Saturday, April 5th - Sat inside a tea shop and counted the steps of the barista behind the counter, knit a pile of leaves, made a fire with unmatched socks and lonesome broken umbrellas, popped a few pimples, ate a pile of potato chips in the nude, planted alfalfa sprouts, and went to bed a little later.
Sunday, April 6th - Slept until 9, scrambled eggs with cheese and scallions, burned the toast, gathered elements of fur from random corners, read about the greatest war in China, chewed my fingernails, examined my breasts for lumps and haphazard hair, and went to bed early.
Monday, April 7th - Waited and waited and waited some more for an animal doctor while brushing my cat's coat into shine, poured bleach over a wart on my left thumb, scrubbed the film from the bathtub ring with fancy clothes and lipstick, lifted a leg to the ceiling five or six times, went to bed early.
Tuesday, April 8th - Telephoned three strange senior citizens, sighed and sighed and sighed, enter a grand shopping complex with hundreds of blinking lights and millions of numeric labels, poured pocket change into a hole in the backyard, wrote pages of digestive information, sipped water through thin lips, and went to bed early.
Wednesday, April 9th - Witnessed the photographing of several hispanic strangers, applied a stethoscope to the ears of a middle aged man, hummed songs by musicians whose names I cannot recall, payed several dollars to have a gas attendant fill the belly of my automobile with blood, ate something that vaguely resembled beef, and went to bed early.
Thursday, April 10th - Unwrapped flesh from grapefruit skin, sawed logs into chunks, read about a man in a yellow suit and his demise, looked for seven different pictures of ham sandwiches, dabbled in the playing of one harmonica, palavered with an old friend who had covered himself in ketchup, and went to bed early; only to find myself tossing and turning with with incessant thoughts of a single hair strangling my big toe.
Friday, April 11th - Rolled around on balls containing medicine, brushed hair into a simple helmet, frolicked dimly illuminated empty hallways in search of a bathroom, drank a purple frozen concoction from a straw, poured milk into paper cups, hopped carelessly on one foot, rubbed the belly of a sleeping French bulldog clad in one pink sweater, absorbed the remaining sunlight of the day on the back porch of an industrial produce row, and went to bed late.
Saturday, April 12 - Woke early, dressed in spandex pants and flip flops, purchased hot dogs, avoided giving a man on the street change then felt guilty, accepted affections from my lover, drove into the outskirts, pranced wildly on a soggy trampoline, flicked potato bugs from wood chips, watched the sun steam, took a nap on a patch of sod, read a book about an Egyptian family, fed cheese and bbq chips to a stray squirrel, crackled fire, sipped red wine, wrapped my limbs in several cotton layers, and went to bed early.
Sunday, April 13th - Awoke from a dream of naked pirates, nuzzled a significant body, begged strangers for salt and pepper, scrambled eggs into potatoes, spit fire from my eyes, avoided a slug with bare feet, rolled a temporary shelter into a small tote, poured water on struggling flames, watched eight men in soggy pants contemplate a moving water's content, sipped on a superficially sweet carbonated beverage in a can, hugged a mother, bicycled on random streets flanked in budding trees, got lost, and here I am.