I'm in NY with Michael and Beckett. We are there visiting friends and family and have to travel far to get to them on Dutch bikes. Beckett is just a baby, maybe 6 months old. Michael goes somewhere and Beckett and I take a bike to a friends house in Queens. When I get there he persuades me to make out with him. I do it for some reason, not enjoying it at all. I feel sick to my stomach. He's a sloppy kisser and fondles me desperately. Beckett is in the corner playing with a box. I worry that she'll remember this. We all decided to meet for dinner in Williamsburg on Broadway under the Subway. I pass mansions and ladies in hats having tea on English lawns. I don't recognize the sprawl of NY and feel lost and hopeless about getting anywhere.
