Tomorrow morning around 9am, a scalpel will slice into my knee skin and the hardware that was once hammered into my patella, will be removed. There is also a chance, if my bone is too damaged to carry on by itself, to generate healthy cells and smoothly glass over and under muscles, that I may end up with the part of someone else's kneecap, a very recently deceased someone else's kneecap, inside my kneecap. A surgeon called Dr. Greenleaf, who has a great reputation for doing this sort of thing, will continue doing this sort of thing...on me. I know this is a necessary sort of thing, the kind of thing that will enable me to climb volcanos and crawl across the skinny part of Idaho, so I'm sending a little waft of yellow into the ether, to the surgery Gods, to Winter and Spring and Summer and Fall, to the Pacific Ocean, to all the books I've ever read and want to read, to the dear humans of the world, to trees of all kind, to deep sea creatures that light up black, to hidden corners, to dust, to Pluto, to love. This little waft of yellow is more gigantic than little. It's a yellow that carries the weight of the sun. It's here for me. It's there for you. It's breathing in, breathing out. It's in our veins and nestled in the roots of ancient banyan trees. It's a multipurpose yellow, for cleaning toilets, for attending arias, for radio silence, for the crunch of snow, the swipe of a credit card, the back of a left-handed handshake, a crab's shell, a Burmese tiger nap, a bowl of minestrone soup, two claps, one ball, spinning, spinning, spinning then caught by the sweaty hand of a child. It's a squeeze. It's a tug. It's a mighty rubdown. It wanders and lopes. It's a parade on the face of the moon when no one is looking.
I had something to say about the air here, how the humidity recalls stepping off a plane in lower equatorial Asian cities, how the birdsong outside my window is the exact birdsong I used to hear outside my window in Danang, how these birds may in fact migrate to Danang at the end of November, stack homes atop coconut trees, mango trees, banyan trees. Mi Quang.