This is happening right now:
vámonos amigos
Maybe you deleted me as your facebook friend because:
You don't like my liberal usage of the word "fart."
Pictures of my toddler peppering your newsfeed recalled memories of an unhappy childhood.
We haven't ever met in real life.
I don't show nearly enough cleavage in my profile pictures.
I never wrote a thoughtful and/or lengthy enough response to one of your posts.
You decided to narrow your friend list down to people with names beginning with U and J only.
Last month, or maybe the month before, your grandmother lectured you on the importance of "real" friendships. You decided ours wasn't ever going be one.
I'm just not that interesting to you anymore.
You are now part of an Icelandic warlock cult and have to spend a year of solitude on a glacier - without pants or WIFI.
Things I got for Christma
a toe massage
a bloated belly
four red mugs
a pair of geometric earrings
a headache
curried fish stew
a few heart palpitations
a handmade zipper pouch by Frankie and Coco
a congested three year old stuck to my left calf
an achy knee
a plastic chinaman pulling a rickshaw full of flowers
no sleep
firestarters
a recycling bin full of wrapping paper
a pile of toddler puke
