How to be alone in a full elevator. How to blame your headache on q-tips. How to build a snowman without the use of your hands. How to slip in the bathtub. How to write a fan letter to a recovering porn star. How to date tropical fruits. How to fill the mouth with tiny marshmallows. How to cream. How to sever roots. How to do laps around a graveyard. How to fake enthusiasm for rainbows. How to gorge yourself on gorgeousness. How to avoid choking on shrimp heads. How to spot a fluking whale. How to sit on your own lap. How to throw a party for beach lizards. How to radiate yellow. How to desire no one. How to dream yourself into reality. How to dress like Izanami-no-Mikoto. How to knoll pencil shavings. How to bandage invisible scrapes. How to suck marrow from the bone. How to trust untrustworthy camels.