It's that time of year, time to write the annual holiday letter to family I hardly ever see, but love because we share blood and whatnot. Here is the outline so far: Introduction

Brief description of the weather in Portland

What has been going on in the last few months

Talk of the cats and their dietary preferences

Big news (The new dust slippers I've been wearing)

Local politics

Disease

War

Famine

The Christmas tree I shall not be putting up for environmental reasons

My aching back

How badly I have to pee

A sincere and loving exit