A conversation I had today with friends, family and strangers: How to brush your hair, how to eat breakfast cereal, how to ride a pony, how to floss your teeth, how to... wash your hair, how to wash your blouse, how to properly shut down your computer, how to make your self happy, how to enjoy a bag of Doritos, how to...answer the phone, how to post the mail, how to shift gears, how to muck a stall, how to speak to a Mustang, how to dance, how to drink coffee, how to blow your own horn, how to...Pluck your eyebrows, how to pick your nose, how to clean your ears, how to wash your underwear, how to clean your belly button, how to.....bite your fingernails, chew your meat, shine your shoes, make a fire, roast a pig, pet a giraffe...spin a yarn, build a house, butcher a steer, shear sheep, rake a yard, build a bridge, sail a yacht, make tamales, how to...deliver, make time for tea, walk far, live long and prosper. Sing in g minor, plant tulips, read Chinese, blow smoke rings, stand up straight, water ferns, spoonfeed chickens, slay a dragon...choose a hamster, undo a bra with one hand, use boolean search operators, stay alive in the woods, poor wine without dripping, fold a fitted sheet...make some mead, keep some bees, grow some hemp, dance a jig (or a reel), forge a blade, grind some corn...how to save a princess, ride the wind, rope the moon, make a mountain out of a mole hill, harvest shaggy manes...how to manscape, how to spell "asshole" with an upside down calculator, how to hula dance, how to get away with it, how to... chew through barbed wire, sprout a bean, wear a wig without looking like your wearing a wig, crown a queen, make sweet love to bigfoot, how to... write a how-to tutorial, how to ellicit responses to the simple prompt "how to," how to make people list things for reasons they know not, how to assemble a list of random activities and abilities, how to indirectly question the activity you are partaking in, how to... how to make people and influence friends, perform DIY cholecystectomy, make practical clothing from coconuts and dryer lint, how to drive whilst sleepwalking on Lunesta, cultivate the finest Bergemot, decorate your snow cave, how too... make dark chocolate truffles, tie a sheepshank knot, knit a sweater, carve a duck, inseminate a cow (artificially), cast a bronze sculpture, repair a tv, how to...
