Today I need to write some letters to my grandparental units. In case you don't know how to write your grandparents a letter, here are some helpful tips.
Tell your grandparents what is going on in your life at that moment. The more detail the better. They love to hear about what interests you. So tell them all about your miserable job, all the booze you've been drinking, and your new fascination with anal bleaching.
Answer each letter you get from your grandparents. You don't want them to feel unloved or forgotten. Respond to their questions and comments. If they ask you if your happy, don't fib, tell them the truth. Tell them you have been considering other "non-living" options.
Include photographs of yourself and your family with your letter. Get dressed up, put on a pair of antlers, a dress or a suit, and smile real big. If you live far away, include photos of your filthy home, dead end town and dirt bag friends.
Write to them to tell them about your accomplishments and failures. Include any newspaper clippings or death threats.
Ask your grandparents questions about their childhoods, their views and opinions or what's going on in their lives. You'd be surprised; they probably had a much more interesting life than you ever will.
Send your grandparents a videotape or DVD of your activities, specifically videos of you doing things like barking, rolling around on the ground in pig poo, maniacal laughter, jumping up and down in the nude, and of course making sweet love to yourself. This way they can feel like they are more a part of your life.