A Performance (To be Performed in front of 10 to 1000 people in chairs)- by me: What do I do now? Now what do I do? Where is now? Now what? What do I do with now? And now? And now? And how about now?
There it goes. Did you see it? It’s in here somewhere (the camera) or in here (my head). I suppose this is the whole point really. To remember, to capture millions of moments in here or in here. It’s slightly overwhelming. I mean how can I continue to be present in here and in here. Right now I have an itch. The left side of my neck is slightly itchy. Where did this itch come from? Is it dust? Whose dust? Do I have a sensitive skin disease? This itch, what do I do with this itch? But it’s gone. It was long gone after I scratched the itch. Where did it go? But you see, I have to be present now. The itch is gone. Now what? What do I do with now? What is happening now? Oh, I see right in front of my face. You, you are all here breathing, sitting, stirring, thinking, observing my words, my eyes, my shuffling feet. Perhaps you smell something delicious spilling from a distant kitchen. Perhaps you would like to stand up and switch seats with your neighbor. Yes, lets do that, switch seats with your neighbor. Now, how does that feel? How does that feel now? Look to your left and to your right. It’s a little different now isn’t it? Perhaps colder or warmer depending on how close you are to the door.
Now what? What now? How do I keep this going? Please do me a favor all of you or many of you, or as many of you whom would like to. One favor for this one moment. Sit in your chair in a way you never have sat in a chair before.
Yes, that’s right.
Note how it feels to sit in a chair like you have never sat before. Where do you store your mental note? Do you have a mental note filing system? Is it organized? Will you remember this feeling at all? Are you uncomfortable? Would you like to sit in a more normal position? Perhaps sitting in a more normal position is much more present an experience for you. Perhaps I should remain quiet and let you carry on in your own day. See I am projecting. I am full of preconceived notions. Not so very present… is it? But I’m trying. I am.
OK…Get comfortable. I am comfortable here. Take a deep breath. One that lasts five seconds (I sit cross legged in a chair take a deep breath for five seconds then get up and switch positions)
Now what? What now? I am uncomfortable (sitting on the edge of the chair back one leg up). I am still uncomfortable. It hurts. It’s more painful this way. Time to move. Or is it? No. I should experience this uncomfortably a little further, a little further, I am shaking now; this is difficult. Indeed.
Time to give up, but what now? Now what? I listen. Shhhhhhh. I’m listening. I hear my own breath. I am still tired from the chair incident. I hear you breathe, swallow, cough. And what do I do with this? How can I capture this essence? I guess I’ll write it down. On this day, (The date and time) I have witnessed you. (Tape the writing to a bulletin board).
Mmmm. What now? Now what? At this time I have witnessed you. Tape the paper to the bulletin board. Now what? What now? At this time I have witnessed you. (Write it all down and tape to board).
Moving on. Would any of you care? Would any of you mind, if I took a picture of each of you? OK. Just act normal. If acting normal makes any sense to you that is. If not, do whatever does. Great… thank you. You are all incomparably momentous.
Can I get a volunteer? Wonderful, come on up. (Look them up and down sniff their collar, touch their hands). Sir/Mam, I am going to ask you a very personal question. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. What are you thinking? Right now. What are you thinking? (Take pictures while the person tells you what he/she is thinking)
Funny I have another itch. Same spot. Do you know I heard somewhere…scientists aren’t certain as to what may cause an itch? Mysterious eh?
Now what are you thinking? If you don’t mind me asking? Be honest. Be very very honest. (Take a picture of the person).
Thanks so much. You can sit back down. You are incomparably momentous. (Give them a really big hug).
Now what, what now? (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture).
Everyone, if you don’t mind, please stay where you are, but try standing. Great. You are all much taller here. I feel like we might be seeing eye to eye. (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture)
OK can I get another volunteer please? You, yes you. Thank you. (Look them up and down sniff their collar, touch their hands).
I am very thirsty. Wow I am really thirsty. Are you thirsty? Tell me the truth. Please tell me the truth. On a scale to one and ten, how thirsty are you? Because I am quite thirsty. I think I might be a ten thirsty. Let’s have a little water, shall we? Sit down for a second and have a small refreshing glass of water with me. Ah… Isn’t this good? Feel it. Quiet. Shhhh. Hear it move through your body. It’s odd to think of something that was once outside of your body, move inside of your body…isn’t it? Do you mind if I take your picture? (Take a picture of the person drinking water).
Now tell me what do you think of this moment? Be honest.
I am feeling a little nervous. You don’t know me at all. I don’t think we have ever had a connection like this before. Do you?
Thank you. You are incomparably momentous. (Give them a big hug).
Now what, what now? (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture).
If you choose you can sit back down. If you’d like to stand, please feel free. If you’d like to sit somewhere else, please do so. If you prefer to stand, try standing on one leg. I am standing on one leg. (I am a witness to you on this day and at this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture).
Can I please get another volunteer? This is fun isn’t it? I am having fun. FUNNNNNNNNNNN. You, yes you. Come on up. (Look them up and down sniff their collar, touch their hands).
OK look me right in the eye. The left eye. And I’ll peer directly into your right eye. Lets do this for one minute. Can someone please time us? Quiet. Quiet. This takes concentration seeing someone so very close up. I am blinking. I can’t help it. My eyes are watering. I am uncomfortable. Tell me the truth. What are you thinking? Be honest.
I am very uncomfortable. I am ashamed of being uncomfortable. This is awful. My eyes ache. My head aches.
Do you mind if I take our picture?
Times up. All right that’s enough of that.
Thank you. You are incomparably momentous. (Give them a big hug).
Now What, what now, (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture). I think we to do a little dancing. To shake and shimmy and shine. I have a little music here. It’s danceable. I am going to turn it up real loud. If you want, you can stay by your chairs and move at your leisure. If that’s not enough space for you, please come up here and dance with me. (The music starts and myself and the audience dance until the song is finished).
Now what, what now? (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture).
I am sweating. Salty flesh blob in clean clothes I am. Isn’t it exciting to move around so much? Try dancing in the office or in your kitchen next time. Anywhere you might not ordinarily dance, dance. It’s fun. FUNNNNNNN.
I am going to need another volunteer. Anyone/ Anyone? You, come on up.
(Look them up and down sniff their collar, touch their hands). Ok now. Do you hear that? It’s a rumble in my gut. An inner abdominal longing? I haven’t eaten yet today because I knew, I would be here, right here, unless something catastrophic happened, or I was distracted and shipped elsewhere, I knew this time would come.
Let’s have a seat at this table shall we? (I will pull a bag out with cloth napkins; two wine glasses, forks, knives, wine, two plates, brie, figs, and baguette).
I have made the most delicious thing. It is so delicious. Perhaps too delicious. Please tell me what is delicious to you? Be honest.
(Start serving the cheese and baguette) Do you drink red wine? I do, one glass a day usually… keeps the blood flowing.
Yummy, let’s eat.
mmmm. This is so good. It’s one of my favorites. The texture, the sweet and salty and fatty and fruity. Mmmm. it’s lightly intoxicating. What do you think, be honest?
Tell me a little about yourself. Why are you here? What do you do? What is your favorite smell? Do you have any pets? Are you married? Kids? Where do you go to get away from everyone?
I go to the bathroom. It’s my sanctuary. I spend more time than unusual in the bathroom. Isn’t this good? The nuts and the cheese and the wine.
Oh man I am full. That was satisfying. Are you satisfied?
Thanks so much for eating with me. I am not too fond of eating alone.
You are incomparably momentous. (Give them a big hug).
Now What, what now, (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture).
I am digesting (walk in circles). It’s good to walk after a meal. I am digesting. I am digesting (walk in circles and up and down the aisles for a minute) Come on everyone, walk with me, if you want to that is, take a walk with me. Watch your steps, watch the air around your head, count your footsteps, and spread your feet wide toe to toe. Now stop where you are. Shhhhh.
Now What, what now, (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture).
Close your eyes. My eyes are closed. Breathe in ten times, five times, however many times you think you can. Breathe loud (I breath loud) breathe soft (I breathe soft) Breathe rapidly (I breathe rapidly) Sing with breath.
Now What, what now, (I am a witness to you on this day and this time. Stick it on the board, take a picture).
Now sleep. Remember not to forget. Don’t forget to be here…. sleeping. It’s quiet, it’s cozy. There are blankets to warm you. Sleep for two minutes. Three minutes. Dream if you can. Dream if you can’t… Sleep.