Due to an error in astrological charting, I recently discovered I do not have a scorpio rising in my planetary line up, but a taurus rising peppering my birth stars. Consequently, I have officially changed my name to Alasandro De Laguardia. From now on I will only wear tomato stained t-shirts and stirrup pants, my fingernails will be decorated with the logos of America's cherished snack products, my eyelashes will be painted blue, and my breath will smell of nothing but Floridian sugarcane.
