One of my closest comrades, Miguel, was married two days ago in the majestic landmass of Montana. I had the pleasure of officiating the wedding in a mumu (akin to something Cher might have worn in the 70’s if she too were a high priestess). I have known Miguel for over ten years. We have accomplished alot and nothing together; climbed the Williamsburg Bridge, walked the entire city of NY and all its blessed boroughs barefoot while cackling incessantly, spent afternoons tippy tapping away at our typewriters on opposite sides of our dilapidated apartment, warded off several crazies with our madness, and made a beautiful mess out of life in general.
Now Miguel is married to an awesome girl and has a homosapien on the way. People certainly are expanding.
The wedding took place on a patch of moss over a waterfall with squirrel and fuzzy egret onlookers. Miguel and his lady looked into each other’s eyes and I nervously spilled forth the sermon. This was a very real moment, terrifying somehow, seeing my friend’s usually naked hand sporting a wedding ring. I read something by Neruda and wobbled. Sweat trickled down the back of my knees, I pronounced them husband and wife. The mosquitoes chewed. The birds sang. I sucked my tears back and smiled.
The next day Miguel, Paco and I went on a long hike around Glacier Park. The place is sublime (maybe even a little too sublime) and I often found myself saying “Are we really here?” because it just seemed too outer-planetary for human feet and hands. We plopped down on a cascading rock wall and devoured turkey sandwiches while searching the land below for grizzly bears.
Supposedly, half of the inter-continental US’s grizzly bears live in Glacier Park. Although I eventually want to be eaten by a bear, I was not ready to be chewed on, and made Paco (who is usually armed with some form of weaponry) walk in front of me. After a few miles, we heard a woman panting and howling as though she had been bitten by something large and furry. I saw a backpack on the ground and prepared myself for the worst. I hiked towards her screams; my heart pounded.
“Fuck Me… Fuck Me!” The woman was indeed being attacked, but not by a bear. I cleared my throat and shouted, “Um…hello. I think we need to pass you.”
“Oh shit” the woman said, “but we are almost finished”
I rolled my eyes in disbelief. I mean I know it’s hot to consummate in public places, but come on, when someone catches you, you have to stop. It’s fair game.