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Felicity Fenton
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Suicide Gods

I'm in Japan, in a corporate office along the back wall of the office where there are life size puppets of politicians and Gods. There's one of Marilyn Monroe holding raincoat over a tiny zen monk's head. There's a typewriter with a scroll of paper feeding into it from the wall. This is where Japanese business men write to the suicide gods. They write things like "I am not worthy" and "I'm a disappointment to my father". There is only room for a few words on the scroll and the rest of the words are left to the gods to do something with.  

I'm with my coworker. She's Chinese American and leads the e-commerce department. She's all data and numbers. She's a bit masculine in her thinking, her ROI goals. She grabs the typewriter off of the table in the office because she believes it will help her suicidal son. We speed down the highway and pull into a parking lot at mall. She brings the typewriter into an Asian fish market with frozen dumplings and mochi. This is where her son works. He lumbers up to the typewriter and begins to type his fears. They are like everyone else's. He doesn't want to disappoint anyone mainly. He wants to feel free. And he is when he types the word "free." I see his shoulders release under his white coat. Mimi hugs him tenderly like Lucy the Chimp.  

We are back in the parking lot. A white cop gives us a ticket for things we've done over the years. It's going to be very expensive.  

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tags: Japan, corporate office, lifesize puppets, politicians, gods, marilyn monroe, typewriter, coworkers, highway, mall parking lot, asian fish market, Lucy the Chimp, white cop
Saturday 09.05.15
Posted by felicity fenton
 

Disneyland under a patriarch of men in gold

Turning a corner in Berthod Pass I notice a disheveled frail looking woman squatting on the side of the rode under trees. Her hands are in prayer. I ask Michael to stop the car, he slows. She looks dead in her sorrow and thinness. I notice more women next to her, all crouched down, folded into themselves, surrendering with sorrow in their faces like the woman praying to the Ganges in tattered saris. We drive forward. I see these women again when we stop the car. They are all dressed up in the latest fashion, makeup on, hair styled. They are American Asians. I realize we are in a spiritual version of Disneyland under a patriarch of men in gold.  

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tags: Berthod Pass, frail women in saris, praying woman, care, car, American Asian Women, Disneyland in gold
Tuesday 09.01.15
Posted by felicity fenton
 

The Eyes of Pool Side Swimmers

My former boyfriend is living in his old apartment in Portland, which is also a little of Danang. He's drunk and flipping through pages of Tolstoy. I sink my feet into pale blue carpet and watch as he ties a rubber hose around his arm, a needle in his mouth. He sits in a pool with his friend. Heroin waters the eyes of pool side swimmers. I don't try to stop him. 

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tags: Steve, Boyfriend, Portland, Danang, Tolstoy, pale blue carpet, heroin, needle, pool, swimmer, swimmers
Saturday 08.29.15
Posted by felicity fenton
 

Moss Incubator

Something about the thickness of the air and heat leads me to believe I'm in the south. In the woods out back I see a red headed lady in a long Roman gown in a moss covered incubator. Her pose is romantic, come hithering. There's a little house with living room furniture in the back yard, kids playing in the peripheries. I wander around the corner and spot a large frog hopping lethargically away from me. I get down on my knees to try to scoop it up and see it has an askew third eye. I think the frog is sacred and holy and I also think it's been tainted by Fukushima or Chernobyl. It's a man frog. I see another frog under some sticks in the hole of the grass, this one is female and just beside her are two baby frogs. They all move slowly and don't appear to be afraid of me. 

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tags: The South, Humidity, moss incubator, red headed lady, roman gown, third eye frog, baby frogs
Saturday 08.08.15
Posted by felicity fenton
 
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Go outside. Good things happen outside.