The moon was violently pummeled earlier today by NASA. I was fortunate enough to talk with the moon shortly after the incident. Here is a record of our conversation: Moon: Ouch
FF: Would you care for some salve?
Moon: Yes thank you. Will it help?
FF: It may just cover up the pain for a second or two, but you can always reapply.
FF: How are you feeling about all of this?
Moon: Well, I was taking a nap and all of a sudden, I felt this incredible burn. It was as if Jupiter had taken a bite out of me.
FF: Sounds bad.
Moon: Oh it was. I've been hit many times before by drunken meteorites, but this was far more painful and violating. To think someone would intentionally strike me after all that I've done for their planet. And now I'm scared. I feel weak and lonely up here. I want my mother.
FF: Is there anything I can do?
Moon: Do you have a cigarette?
FF: I don't smoke, but I can make you some soup. Would you like some soup?
Moon: That would be nice.
FF: Here you go. It's three bean.