SRS, otherwise known as Soul Recovery Systems, in in the works. I have procured the domain name www.soulrecoverysystems.com, built a website, appropriated uniforms, and will soon have all sorts of glossy printed material to pass out to eager participants via cold canvassing and other subtle harassments. In case you haven't been perusing my website, here is the Soul Recovery System mission statement:
SRS provides free recovery services to those who have been clutching onto objects that harbor burdensome emotional weight in their lives. Each person is asked to purge one object, write a succinct description of the role the object played in their lives and why they chose to release it, then hand it over to SRS for optimal creative cleansing. Participants have three options for purging objects: direct mail to the SRS headquarters, SRS pickup, or dropping objects in an SRS drop box (locations to be determined). SRS then photographs each object, enters the item description and reason for purging into the database, and incorporates each into an online mausoleum. After a undecided period of time, a culmination of all objects will be exhibited and released, whether by fire, flood, edible consumption, reconstruction, burial, or any other appropriate form of dissolve. SRS refers to these descriptions as “releases” as the terminology should reflect the restorative and healing powers of such acts. In the end our goal is to free people of their, as we like to say, "soul trash". It will heal without a doubt!
If you are interested in becoming a soul trash pickup representative in your hometown/city/forest, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.