Eulogy for him
We met while at university taking classes
in entomology and making passes
from our desks across the room. To me he was dreamy and dangerous,
analogous
to the kind of guy to hang out in carnivals with the clowns –
those with frowns
and smeared makeup from eating snacks at interval.
He was beautiful
and always looked dapper, but wore the same old clothes
and woes...
that spoke for themselves.
He delved
and dabbled in guitar, singing
of love, loss, and longing.
So in the same spirit I am thinking of him
and the affection received from his warm cheeky grin.
He will endure and last,
in the memories of kisses and sighs of my darling from the past.
He has never really been very far from my mind.
As I find
I cannot discard his mementos, his notes, his art,
and feel forlorn for never returning his love letters from the heart.
He was my hero, my mentor, my mate
and date
on regular outings to galleries and shows.
I’ve enclosed a piece of safe keeping from long ago,
a summer full of sunshine, wit, want, and lusty company.
Why I keep it, I’m not sure, perhaps it has a hold on me?
I sadly cannot attend this tragic gathering,
but this doesn’t stop the lingering
thoughts, wishes and heart of lead.
Perhaps a kind soul may throw this on his coffin in my stead?
And rid me of the remaining doubts and regret?
To allow some release and to let
me remember he was the only love, the single reality the sole fantasy,
the lone grip on me,
... the one